


Not a single word

by LeviMilk



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: American Eren Yeager, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Eren imagines having sex with Levi, Humor, M/M, Miscommunication, No Sex, No Smut, Oblivious Eren Yeager, Russia, Russian Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 05:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviMilk/pseuds/LeviMilk
Summary: Eren and Mikasa sit down for dinner in a Russian restaurant. Eren falls in love with their waiter who doesn't speak English.





	Not a single word

**Author's Note:**

> There's no actual smut in this fic, just Eren imagining it happening.

Eren's eyes scanned over the menu, the mix of random symbols making zero sense to him. He thought he recognized chicken or ‘курица’ in Russian, which was really only the second word he's learned from Mikasa that he actually remembered. However, the risk of simply pointing at the word 'chicken’ and hoping you don't wind up with gizzards or hearts on your plate wasn't worth it. 

“I told you to ask for an English menu,” Mikasa scolded and took the paper from Eren's hands.

“I didn't want to, okay?” Eren would never admit that he was embarrassed that he still couldn't read it. Mikasa dragged Eren to Russia over six months ago, insisting that she couldn't leave him alone in America while she attended college in Moscow. In that time, Eren only learned two words.‘курица’ chicken, and ‘кофе’ meaning coffee. His diet was super limited.

Mikasa only sighed, giving up on her brother and deciding to order for him instead. With a snap of her fingers, and a groan from her brother, she called the waiter to their table.

The other reason Eren refused to ask for an English menu..

Their super hot waiter.

The moment they walked into the restaurant Eren was love struck. His dark locks and piercing eyes could bring Eren to his knees, make him beg for the short waiter to whisper disgusting words in Russian while he gagged Eren with his dick.

The teen watched while Mikasa and the waiter chatted back and forth, his sister gesturing to him while she placed an order for both of them. It made him feel like a child, bringing him back to when his mother would order him spaghetti when all he wanted was mac and cheese. He really hoped Mikasa wasn't getting him fish again.

His sister handed the menus back to their waiter, his name tag reading Леви; which meant nothing to Eren. With a nod in Eren's direction, their hot waiter left their table, leaving Eren to stare at his ass as he walked off to place their order.

“Stop staring at the waiter’s ass,” Mikasa whispered and reached over to smack Eren's arm.

Eren flinched, not even aware that he was looking hard enough for his sister to notice. “Don't judge me.” 

“Do I need to remind you where we are?” His sister hissed, her tone low and threatening enough to finally pull Eren's gaze away from that perfect 10/10 ass.

Russia. Anti gay.

Right.

It wasn't fair. This waiters voice was smooth like honey, and Eren was more than willing to get a little bit sticky to spend the night with him. But it was illegal. Would it be too forward for Eren to propose and whisk the sexy waiter away and home to California?

Eren pouted, “Hardly anyone speaks English here anyway.” And with that statement, the gears started turning in Eren's mind. “In fact,” he began, his eyes locking back over to their waiter as he waltzed over with a bottle of wine. “I could talk about snacking on our waiter's ass all night and he wouldn't have a fucking clue.”

“Eren!”

Short pale and handsome stood next to them, his delicate hands held their bottle carefully as he poured the red wine that Mikasa had ordered.

“I'm just saying, he wouldn't have a fucking clue how badly I wanted him to take me into the kitchen and bend me over the salad station,” Eren was grinning up at the waiter whose face was blank as he poured the wine. Confirming to Eren that he didn't understand a single word. “Or if I said I wanted to get down on my knees and pray for his load on my tongue.”

Mikasa sat there, her jaw slightly unhinged, completely unable to process how stupid her brother could actually manage to be.

“Can you ask his name?” Eren looked to Mikasa and then back to the waiter who was now gently placing the bottle onto the table. “I need to know what I should be moaning when I jerk off tonight.”

Mikasa was still shell shocked, which was unusual for her but Eren's bluntness actually managed to throw her off. “It's Levi.”

“да?”

Yes? Ya? Something like that, Eren chuckled to himself while Mikasa began speaking in Russian. Most likely telling Levi that Eren asked his name, but he doubted she included  _ why _ .

While Levi's attention was on Mikasa, Eren figured he'd let himself enjoy the view. God bless his sister for insisting she take him somewhere way too fancy and overpriced for his almost birthday. He would be turning 19 next month but Mikasa was too busy to celebrate with him during all of March.

Levi's uniform consisted of sinfully tight fitting charcoal pants, a deep maroon button up, and a very flattering vest and tie to match his slacks.

 

Eren zoned out, picturing himself naked and laying in his bed with Levi on top of him. The Russian speaking in words unknown to Eren while he wrapped his wrists carefully with the very tie he was wearing, weaving the material carefully over his skin. Tight, but not tight even to hurt his American lover. Then raising them up to the headboard, rending Eren useless so that Levi could have complete control as he rocked himself on Eren's cock.

Maybe even Levi spreading Eren's legs instead, slicking his fingers up with lube as he prepped the young man's ass to take something much bigger. The sound of a condom wrapper ripping and Levi lining himself up to Eren's entrance to slide himself inside.

 

Then Mikasa said Eren's name.

“Huh, what?”

Mikasa was rolling her eyes painfully slow, while Levi was smirking down at him; almost as if he knew his exact day dream.

“Levi asked how you're liking Russia.”

“ _Oh_ ,” He hates it, it's boring, it's cold, eating out is too expensive, and he's a gay virgin stuck here until his sister finishes her degree. “It's nice.”

Mikasa translated, Eren's reply making Levi snort in disgust. He replied quickly, before leaving their table.

“He says Russia is cold and shitty, and that he would leave in a heartbeat.”

Eren looked to Levi once more, he wasn't hard to find being shorter than all the other waiters. He stood near the kitchen, waiting for his orders to be placed onto his tray.

“I was afraid of being honest,” Eren frowned and looked away from the appetizing meal that carried plates of food to another table.

“As you should be,” Mikasa sipped her wine, not bothering to wait for it to breath like their mother would have scolded her for. “Honestly, you might think you're funny but if Levi knew English he could have you sent to prison for the things you've said.”

“Well, he doesn't,” Eren grinned and grabbed for his wine.

“You don't know that.”

They continued their meal, switching from the subject of Levi and his great ass to Mikasa's studies and ballet classes. In the US she could have been prima ballerina, which was exactly why she flew to Russia after she got her first degree. She insisted on being the best of the best, and she didn't feel she would be at that level until she trained like the Russians. Eren was younger than her, having just finished high school when Mikasa made her decision to move. Which automatically meant Eren was coming too.

Mikasa went into another rant about her ballet teacher, a strict woman who demanded perfection in dance  _ and _ perfection in grades. If Mikasa went any lower than the Russian equivalent of a A; she would be kicked from the program.

“You should just quit, Mikasa,” Eren said softly before the next round of her ranting could begin.

“We're Jaegers,” Mikasa countered. “We're stubborn as hell and we don't quit because of one bad day.”

Levi made his way back to their table, grabbing the bottle of their wine and refilling their drinks. Eren didn't have to pour for himself once since Levi was so attentive, and he was loving it.

“Just quit,” Eren urged and tried not to stare too hard as Levi worked. “You've been miserable this entire time.” Once Levi finished pouring his wine he moved over to Mikasa's. “Plus,” Eren paused to grab his wine and take a sip. “Then we can go back home and I can bring our sexy waiter along with us.”

Mikasa covered her face while Eren laughed at  her, “Oh my god, Eren. Stop it. Stop hitting on him.”

“What!? It doesn't even matter!” Eren protested, his voice getting a touch too loud. A pointed look from Levi told him not to do that again. “He doesn't know English.”

“Eren..-”

He didn't give his sister a chance to scold him for the tenth time, “Levi?” He asked.

“Hm?”Just man's hum had Eren swooning. It was the first time Levi had addressed him fully, anything he had to say before was translated by Mikasa. ‘More water?’ He was fine with wine. ‘Would you like me to toss your salad?’ To which Eren replied with 'only if you let me toss yours.’ He was going to have a bruise from Mikasa kicking him under the table.

“Do you know English?”

“No.” There it was simple as can be and exactly what Eren needed to prove his sister wrong. The Russian accent was undoubtedly sexy, but Eren couldn't focus on it while he was trying to prove his sister wrong.

“See?” Eren crossed his arms over his chest. “He doesn't know English.”

“Not a single word,” Levi confirmed.

“Not a  _ single _ word,” Eren repeated, grinning at his sister's shocked face.

“Eren-,” Mikasa tried to stop her brother, her idiotic brother.

“So, Levi,” Eren shifted in his seat to fully face Levi. The waiter doing the same where  he stood and gave Eren his full attention. “If I told you I fell madly in love with you within seconds of walking in here, and wanted to marry you; would you understand?”

Levi chuckled, “No, I wouldn't.”

“And if I said I wanted you to take my back to your place, fuck me on every single piece of furniture you owned, and make me see stars with your dick,” Eren paused to rub his joke in Mikasa's face, the teen relishing in her shaking her and disapproving glare. “What would you say to that?” He asked to Levi, the waiter seemingly overly amused at the crazy American that was spouting English as a joke.

“I would have to say,” Levi smiled at Eren, the teen eyes widening in terror as he realized his grand error. “I get off work in an hour.”

**Author's Note:**

> Levi: Admittedly I had to look up 'tossing a salad,' but once I learned I tossed Eren's salad almost every night. 
> 
> Eren: ;;;;;;


End file.
